i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
