Last Night in Illinois (773)

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.

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• (858): View more from California

  Is she okay?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like

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  we should definitely drink gin again. soon.

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