Last Night in Texas (325)

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• (325): View more from Texas

  I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours

  (325): View more from Texas

  Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin

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• (325): View more from Texas

  The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am

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• (325): View more from Texas

  So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...

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• (325): View more from Texas

  Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???

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• (325): View more from Texas

  She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...

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• (325): View more from Texas

  suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea

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• (325): View more from Texas

  When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous

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• (325): View more from Texas

  This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be

  (325): View more from Texas

  Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets

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• (325): View more from Texas

  Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?

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• (325): View more from Texas

  She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious

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• (325): View more from Texas

  I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.

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