Last Night in Pennsylvania (570)

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.

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