Last Night in Virginia (804)

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  Most formal booty call EVER

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  ? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?

  (804): View more from Virginia

  go meet him and give him your number.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  god. marry me.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  My bed smells like the plague

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!

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