Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
