Last Night in Illinois (773)

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..

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