I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
