I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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