she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
