Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
