Last Night in Maryland (410)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cherish every text you send me

  Fav 49 6514 1024

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.

  Fav 16 4612 1657

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (410): View more from Maryland

  best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend

  Fav 23 4912 970

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy

  Fav 7 881 2106

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.

  Fav 7 900 3831

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.

  Fav 26 1407 3104

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (410): View more from Maryland

  In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"

  Fav 23 1791 8112

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.

  Fav 44 3816 2134

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.

  Fav 37 8161 1827

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk

  Fav 85 5850 1069

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night

  Fav 34 1458 6436

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.

  Fav 19 3789 1080

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I knew I liked you

  Fav 37 4652 784

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Nowhere

  Fav 25 1278 2788

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT