Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (410)

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Last Night in Maryland (410)

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(410): View more from Maryland

You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.

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(410): View more from Maryland

yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors

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(410): View more from Maryland

I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows

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(410): View more from Maryland

And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good

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(410): View more from Maryland

You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?

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(443): View more from Maryland

We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub

(410): View more from Maryland

...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?

(443): View more from Maryland

He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer

(443): View more from Maryland

Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.

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