So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I want to make a zoo with you.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
