have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
