Last Night in North Carolina (252)

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?

  (513): View more from Ohio

  um, yeah. i think it is.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars

  (1-252): View more from North Carolina

  I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers

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