i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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