I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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