I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
