Last Night in California (707)

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• (707): View more from California

  Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.

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• (707): View more from California

  I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.

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• (707): View more from California

  Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.

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• (707): View more from California

  I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?

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• (707): View more from California

  I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.

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• (707): View more from California

  I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!

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• (707): View more from California

  I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.

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• (707): View more from California

  I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO

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• (707): View more from California

  Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD

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• (707): View more from California

  There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.

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• (707): View more from California

  Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.

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• (707): View more from California

  Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life

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• (707): View more from California

  We are horrible

  (1-707): View more from California

  Yeah but we're also awesome

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• (619): View more from California

  I called you last night? What did I say??

  (707): View more from California

  That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...

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