i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
