I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
