i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
