Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
