Last Night in Illinois (309)

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?

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  I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON

  (309): View more from Illinois

  THE MOOOOOOOON

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  probably

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.

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