Last Night in New York (347)

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• (347): View more from New York

  So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok

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• (347): View more from New York

  I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant

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• (347): View more from New York

  tell your sister to shave her snatch

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• (347): View more from New York

  Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta

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• (347): View more from New York

  Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!

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• (347): View more from New York

  I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.

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• (347): View more from New York

  i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.

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• (347): View more from New York

  you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.

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• (347): View more from New York

  weddingsv make me drug and hornr

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• (347): View more from New York

  A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!

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• (718): View more from New York

  cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever

  (347): View more from New York

  The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer

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• (347): View more from New York

  Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????

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• (347): View more from New York

  i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties

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• (347): View more from New York

  k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza

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