Last Night in Texas (903)

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• (903): View more from Texas

  He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  pop tarts are not kleenex

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention

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• (903): View more from Texas

  On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED

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