so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
