Last Night in Washington, DC (202)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.

  Fav 0 725 450

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She didn't like my gingervitis joke

  Fav 2 1326 702

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing

  Fav 3 655 500

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to

  Fav 0 857 497

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again

  Fav 2 526 835

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make

  Fav 5 558 1131

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong

  Fav 5 612 753

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.

  Fav 3 755 1230

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco

  Fav 1 561 783

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Naked.

  Fav 1 794 976

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.

  Fav 1 716 1000

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.

  Fav 7 598 1063

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.

  Fav 6 543 1404

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.

  Fav 8 704 1468

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT