Last Night in Florida (386)

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• (386): View more from Florida

  She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?

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• (386): View more from Florida

  I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."

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• (386): View more from Florida

  only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad

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• (386): View more from Florida

  well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  i now understand why vodka

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• (386): View more from Florida

  This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now

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• (386): View more from Florida

  I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it

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• (386): View more from Florida

  My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0

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• (386): View more from Florida

  At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested

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• (386): View more from Florida

  We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad

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• (386): View more from Florida

  My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.

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