its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize