apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You can't just leave with hair like that
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
