Last Night in Australia (+61)

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".

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