Last Night in Michigan (269)

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  That should be the title of my autobiography.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO

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