Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (928)

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Last Night in Arizona (928)

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(928): View more from Arizona

It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album

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(928): View more from Arizona

so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in

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(928): View more from Arizona

Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?

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(928): View more from Arizona

I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning

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(928): View more from Arizona

They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...

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(928): View more from Arizona

Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I don't like kids.

(928): View more from Arizona

You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago

(702): View more from Nevada

I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.

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(928): View more from Arizona

My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?

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