is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
