yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize