So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
