My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize