Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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