I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
