it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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