Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
