It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No I am not eating basil off your cock
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
