Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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