well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i need some magic done to my vagina
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
