holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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