Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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