whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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