I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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