For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
