ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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