We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize