Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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